The zombie horse... that broke my heart

As you may or may not know, I am having to give my horse antibiotics twice a day for an infection she got in her nose.

Now the stables I board at is gated and just like a gated apartment complex you must punch in a code and the gate opens. The gate at the stable isn’t very reliable.

I had been out with family all day so when I got the meds and was out to the horse for her evening dose, it was drizzling and dark. I pull up to the key pad a punch in the code and the final tone sounds I look at the gate expectantly… Nothing… “Maybe I punched it in wrong” I put the code in again the final tone sounds

Nothing…

Well maybe if I punch in the code and run over to the gate and try pushing on it…

Nothing.

Now probably 20 years ago I climbed the fence to get into the stable when the gate wasn’t working (or I forgot the code). Now at 42? Yeah I want no part of scaling the fence.

I know that I had seen vehicles out on the trail, if I can find where they get in I can drive the Jeep over to the area where my horse’s stall is. So I drive around and nothing… I do, however, find a gap in the fence where I can fit through.

I consider, should I just go home and forget her evening dose? Should I walk through the desert at night on a trail that I’ve personally never been on? Should I go around the fence and get on the drive way and walk that in, even though that is meandering and will be a much longer walk?

Of course, the most logical choice is to walk a trail that I’ve never been on before… at night… in the desert… while it’s drizzling….

On a good note I had a flash light with me, not just my phone.

So, I get out of the Jeep and curse my luck, I grab her medicine and the coffee can full of pellets and strike off into the desert.

Now, I’m not afraid of the animals, if there were any, I know coyotes can be a problem, but I am always more concerned about humans. I didn’t think any homeless people would be out this far and I could probably walk past them, I’m sure they don’t want to be bothered and neither do I. Generally, I think if I stumbled on humans in the desert at night, I don’t think they are going to be up to any good. That’s what scares me.

With these thoughts in mind I walk down the trail shining the flashlight on any bushes I thought looked suspicious and looking behind me every so often. The desert is quiet, and that is something I like about the desert.

Once I get closer to the horses I can hear the cribber cribbing, poor horse. I start thinking there is a gate in the fence and I begin looking for a trail off to the gate, but I didn’t see one, so I carefully picked my way around bushes and avoided cactus. I found the fence I needed and climbed through.

Now that I feel safe my mind wanders back to this whole bull shit operation that I had to climb through a fence and walk all the way back here. Granted it’s not a particularly long walk, thought it would have been twice as long if I walked the drive in.

I start thinking about the night that I had to have an emergency call to have vet come out and check my horse. What would I have done if the gate didn’t work? Would the vet have been willing to walk in and look at my horse? What medical supplies would have been needed, would the vet have been willing to carry that stuff in? Should I complain to the barn manager that the gate didn’t work. People had no problem complaining about my horse when she was sick.

All these thoughts running through my head when I become vaguely aware of a large white skeletal creature looking at me. I stop… I look to my left… and there stands a giant skeletal horse… I stare, I blink my eyes, because that really can’t be standing there!

As I return to my senses I realize this creature is in a stall, its ONE of the horses in the stable.

I walk over to this thing, still not really believing what I am seeing…

And then my heart breaks…

It was a skeletal horse because it was grey and looked as if it has been starved. I don’t usually come down this way and I hadn’t ever noticed this horse. I don’t know if it is a rescue or an old horse. It IS a giant, I think it’s withers are as tall as I am… It had to be 16+ hands tall. It wasn’t a draft horse, but I suspect maybe it was a thoroughbred or maybe some exotic (to me) horse like a holsteiner.

I went over to it and it seemed to be propped up by the fence. There was hay in it’s feeder, making me think maybe it was just and old horse that was losing weight. It didn’t seem to be eating the hay. I gently stroked it’s cheek, it looked at me. I wanted to look at it’s teeth to see how old it was, but I didn’t have the heart. The horse looked like it was going to fall over any minute and the fence was the only thing keeping it vertical.

I felt silly and sad. I wished I could help this horse, of course my first impulse is to feed it, but it had food. One also never knows with something like this, if I give it food maybe that will cause it to colic or founder… If it didn’t have any feed I think I would have probably would have fed it, but there was feed.

I stepped away and went to my horse who lightened my heart, I gave her, her medicine and her ration of pellets.

On the way back out I stopped by the horse again and stroked its cheek and neck. I wish I could have offered it some comfort. It’s at the stable I am, and I’m sure that it is being cared for. I assume it’s a rescue or an old horse in decline, but it was definitely sad to see.

EDIT: I discovered that this horse was owned by an older gentleman that didn't want to put it down as long as he lived. He spent thousands and thousands of dollars to keep this horse alive. It had some sort of wasting disease where it's body could no longer absorb nutrition from it's food. It passed away some time last week.