Saturday, December 28, 2019

My 2019 In Review


I always feel as if my year passes uneventfully, I get up, go to work, day in and day out. This year I KNOW something big happened, but I took the time to look back and see that there were some milestones and interesting things that occurred.

.

Back story, we are building a house on 40 acres of property in northern Arizona, we don’t live in the house yet. We are living in a 5th wheel on the property until the house is completed.



In February we received 14 inches of snow! Certainly more snow that I have seen in many years! I had a grand time building a snowman and then taking the #10 scoop and “sledding” down a left over pile of dirt from the house foundation. If I had been more daring I would have hiked to the Knoll and sled down that. It’s a much steeper longer slope.



In April a friend of mine had a hearse meet up in Death Valley, California (you read that correctly, hearse as in the vehicle that conveys people to their final resting place). At that time of the year I was feeling pretty low about things and I decided at the last minute to drive out. I had to buy a new battery for the hearse as it had died from sitting all winter. That reminds me… I need to go start the hearse up when it warms up a little more.



I had much needed rest and relaxation at the hearse meet up, brief thought it was. I did miss going to the brothel (yes, you read that correctly too). Not sure how many people in this day and age have been to a brothel but I am intrigued by the whole idea. Of course, there is a restaurant, and you can eat and not participate in what happens in a brothel (which is what I would be doing, not the other thing).



I did have a strange encounter, while in Death Valley. We stopped off at a restaurant where the chef was a refugee from the bigger more extravagant restaurants IN Vegas. There was a fellow wandering around the restaurant with a pitcher of a bloody mary (I think). While none of us paid much mind to the fella, he came up to our group and asked who was driving the Buick hearse. I volunteered that I was driving the black Buick (my friend drove his white Buick, which I had forgot). The fella then said that he was dying of cancer and he really liked the Buick and wanted that hearse to be the one for his last ride. I thought it was an odd request, but I gave him my calling card. I haven’t heard from him, so I can hope that he is doing okay.



Now for the main event… In July/August I went to Sweden and Germany. I spent about 2 weeks in Sweden and then the 3rd week was spend driving from Sweden to Germany.



So many things happened, I don’t think I could recount them all in this one little word doc. However while in Sweden I got to visit many cathedrals, both whole and in ruins. I also got to Anundshög and see the burial mounds and the big rune stones. While I was there I got to see Gamla (old) Uppsala, which is more burial mounds and a great deal of history. It was fascinating, I was disappointed that you were no longer allowed to walk the mounds. Unfortunately people tromping about has caused the mounds to weather more than they should.



One of the cathedrals I visited was the Uppsala cathedral which is surrounded by runestones as well. I attempted to take photos of all of them, but I probably missed some.



We went to Dalarna and saw the Dala horse factory. The Dala horses are the usually orange/red colored wooden horses from Sweden. I’m still not clear how a childs toy became so popular! It was great to see how the little horses were made, and that each town has their own color scheme for their Dala horse.



While we were in that region we stayed at a Bed and Breakfast in Rättvik, this was the week before classic car week, but the town filled up with all kinds of classic American cars. I think of all the classic American cars in the world, at least 50% of them are well cared for in Sweden. The big thing to do if you own one of these cars is to cruise, just like in the 1950’s. I think is some places cursing is illegal in this country!



We found a round-about in Rättvik where I sat on the grass and took pictures of as many classic cars as I could. It was a great time! I was filled in on what a “tractor” was. I thought it was farm equipment, but in Sweden it means something different.



I may have the details wrong, but I believe form 16-18 a Swedish teenager is given a driver’s license however they have to drive a “tractor.” A tractor is a car that can’t go above 30 Kilometers per hour.  Then when the young person becomes 18 I think they are allowed to drive a non-restricted vehicle.



On one evening I asked our host if they played Kubb, which is said something like cup and cub. Kubb can be described as a combination of bowling and horseshoes. It’s a lawn game where the objective is to knock over wooden blocks (kubbs) by throwing wooden batons (kastpinnar) at them. I’m surprised he knew what I was saying, because I was pronouncing it “koob”. We had a good evening playing Kubb and trying not to hit each other with the batons.



Then it was off to Wacken, Germany. If you know much about Germany, you would know that Wacken is a small town in the north. You might not know that Wacken is the home of the largest outdoor Heavy Metal Music festival in the world, which was precisely the reason I was going there!

It felt like a forced march to Germany, but I think that always happens with vacations, despite your best intentions you end up HAVING to get to some place by a certain time which causes this mad dash.



We got to Wacken at midnight, and we got a good camp site which was a 10-15 minute walk to the inner field of the festival grounds. Some people had it worse and had to walk 2 miles in to go to the shows. I was shocked, here in America I don’t think that would happen. Our lazy butts would want some kind of shuttle service!



The most important thing about Wacken was I got to perform my friends hand fasting ceremony there! I am honored that they asked me to do their ceremony! It was Viking themed, instead of rings, they exchanged a key and a knife made from a spring from their 1963 hearse. That was about as “metal” as anything could be at Wacken!



I saw 21 bands in four days. Didn’t know I was a metal fan? Interestingly enough I didn’t realize how many bands were “metal” enough to be at Wacken, including Ice-T (yes, the rapper).



Speaking of metal we took a 1970 Chevy Suburban from Sweden to Germany, the don’t make ‘em out of metal like that anymore. The Germans coming through our camp were intrigued by our old American cars.



I don’t know if I’ll every lay eyes on Germany again, but Wacken was truly an amazing experience that I will treasure, always.



Once Wacken had completed, we went to Denmark, and had a missed connecting with one of my friends, friends.



We made it back to Sweden went to a town called Trollhättan, because of the name. We North Americans find the name quite amusing. Trollhättan is a beautiful town, I would have liked to have spent more time there! We hiked along the canals, and took photos of the buildings and even visited the Harley Davidson store there.



We also went to another car show, with a fellow hearse driver’s hearses. It was amazing to see the European hearses up close and personal. It was also amazing to meet a few members form the SHS (Scandinavian Hearse Society).

There was even a 1970 Volvo at that particular car show, like the one I learned to drive in. I’m sure that my friends thought I was silly fawning over a Volvo, but it brought back great memories from my childhood.



We went to Stockholm, and did the touristy thing visiting the shops and the down town area. I took a picture of a sign that read, “Welcone to the center of chaos! presented by frustrated bikers, uncharged electrical scooters and lost tourists.”



Lastly visited a Viking themed restaurant, Tunnan. We sampled different types of food Vikings would have eaten, like reindeer jerky. I got “trout” which turned out to be salmon and turnips. We drank this mead/ale beverage, it was quite thick but quite good.



The next morning, I flew out from Sweden to go back home.



In September our house passed the combo inspection which consisted of plumbing electrical, HIVAC and framing. We are one step closer to living in the house. I think there are only a couple more inspections after the combo.



I think the last big event of this year was in November we got a St. Bernard puppy and named her Lucy. I believe she is 10 weeks as the writing of this word doc.



As a final thought, hearses, have connected me to people I would have never known and taken me on adventures I never thought possible. What kind of people drive hearses? Simply, the best!


Thursday, November 28, 2019

Phoenix Krampuslauf 2019


Please join us for our 6th annual Krampulauf!


When: Friday, December 6, 2019 at 7:30 PM (please give yourself extra time to arrive and find parking)

Where: meet up and start from:
Fair Trade Cafe
1020 N 1st Ave, Phoenix, Arizona 85003

End/turn around point
Bliss Rebar
901 N 4th Street, Phoenix, AZ 85004

Get ready Laufers were doing it again! Don your finest masks, wings, and beards come on out and join us for our 6th Annual Krampus walk! We will meet up at Fair Trade and then descend on the Phoenix downtown art walk.

Characters strongly desired:
Krampus of course!
St. Nikolas (he keeps the Krampus in line)
White Angel
Black Angel
Perchta

You may also dress in your historical or Viking finest if you haven't put together a Krampus costume, we need YOU for handlers, we may (will) need people to hand out water to our Krampus and flyers to the onlookers

Step off is at 7:30PM sharp, we will not wait.

Finally, by showing up, you acknowledge that being Krampus (or friends) can be risky business. You accept all consequences that could potentially arise from your personal participation and any participation of others which may affect you.

For additional info pleased e-mail Skullarix
Visit our FaceBook

AND IF YOU ARE WONDERING WHAT KRAMPUS IS:
Krampus is the Yule Lord, or Christmas Devil. The good children get a visit from Saint Nikolaus on Christmas Eve. The bad children get a visit from Krampus and will get coal in their stockings, or get stolen away by the evil beast.

Krampus is a large, hairy, demon like character with cloven hooves and long horns. He is often wearing a reed basket on his back to put all the bad boys and girls. He is rattling his rusty chains and clanging his bells to let you know he is coming.

Krampusnacht is traditionally celebrated on the 5th of December annually. The men from the village don the costumes of Krampus and Saint Nikolaus. They are often accompanied by black and white angel characters and sometimes "Pertchta". Their walk is called the "Krampuslauf".

This group is dedicated to bringing the "Krampuslauf" to Phoenix and all things Krampus...

Monday, July 15, 2019

Reconsidering Natural Horsemanship

Just adding the link here so I can find it again...

Interesting read, not sure if they have it all right

http://www.bethbehaviourist.co.uk/articles/just-another-deluded-cowboy?fbclid=IwAR2U0sgKcfOqCAeNIYcQcQ9_0gLfWp_Qsa4bjcTczgu3gHGlZ6YcRHisgJs

Sunday, December 30, 2018

2018 in review...

I always want to do a review of my year, but I always kind of feel it's 11 months of boring with a month of excitement.

Not this year, this year was HARD for me.

Technically starting in 2017... I was texted that my horse was bleeding on 12/29/17. I had my room-mate drive me to the stable because I was to sick to drive myself. The poor horse's chest was all swollen up, raw and bleeding. I called the vet out and that lead to six months of treating my horse for some unknown infection and scary diagnoses, which in the end turned out to be a summer sore and allergies.

While that was going on Tigger my cat, my best bud, developed a tumor in his nose. Unfortunately there was nothing we could do and I had to put him to sleep. I was terrified that Finn, the horse would suffer the same fate.

I had to ask my work if I could work from home or quit my job and start a wonderful career with Pizza Hut. I am extremely lucky they said yes, I could work from home!

Next was time to pack up the house. I didn't think the Waffle would have sold it so fast. Then it was a mad dash to sort, get rid of and pack up over 20 years worth of stuff. I hate moving, I just sort of get lost in the minutia of it all. So it was very slow and arduous for me. I am thankful for my room mate that did most of the packing.

Then it was time for HearseCon, which I almost backed out of 100 times. I had agreed to split my room cost with my friends. I just couldn't do that to them, so in spite of having to move at the same time I decided to make the drive to Denver. I think it was a much needed vacation. It was one of the best times I have had at HearseCon.

I returned to a much different home 174 miles away from my previous one. My 1500 square foot home on 1.5 acres has been downsized to a 5th wheel trailer on 40 acres. I live in the middle of nowhere and now we work to finish the house we've been building for about 3 years. It's all terrifying and wonderful at the same time.

So for 2019, we hope to finish the house and I am excited to achieve one of my life long dreams, going to Wacken Open Air in Germany!


Friday, December 21, 2018

The saga of Sparkle Farts...

It's Christmas and in my family that means a secret Santa gift exchange. We draw names at Thanksgiving and when we are all together at Christmas, we of course do the deed, and exchange the gifts.


So, adult and child names are just thrown into a hat and drawn. This year my Waffle (a.k.a. Husband) drew his niece of course the gift shopping/purchase was then pushed off onto me. Now our niece is all of seven years old and one of the items she really, really wanted was a, Baby Alive.


You can guess by the name that the "Baby Alive" does all the things that a really baby does, such as eat, drink, cry, talk and yes, the resulting bodily functions. Now as a woman who doesn't have children but does have animals, I really don't see the point in having a doll that does that. Ya wanta feed and clean up after something? I have a horse and four cats, my niece is more than welcome to feed and clean up after. My niece herself has a dog and rabbit (which she doesn't clean up after).


...but a Baby Alive is what she wants, and Uncle Waffle drew her and I am certain that he wouldn't get her the doll. So we were talking about what to get her and some how the Squatty Potty came up and the unicorn in the ads would be perfect.


Through a quick internet search we discovered that there was a unicorn doll that eats and well, you know. This was called, "Poopsie Slime Surprise Unicorn-Rainbow Bright Star." It's droppings consisted of a sort of sparkly gelatin substance. I was laughing and said that if my horse had "Poopsie slime surprise" I'd need to call the vet!


I went to Amazon and added "Poopsie Slime Surprise Unicorn-Rainbow Bright Star" to my wish list.


As I was actually cleaning up my horses not so sparkly surprise... The thought that, I'm sure my mother-in-law wouldn't want to have to fuss with mixing up slime and sparkles so that my niece could feed the unicorn. If only there was a gift that didn't require such maintenance, but was along the same lines...


Amazon recommendations to the rescue, enter Sparkle Farts!


Sparkle Farts is a unicorn plushie that, you guessed it, farts. His story is that he got into the Royal Taco Patch, which apparently gives unicorns terrible gas! Not only does he fart, he also talks with a slight British accent! THIS sounded like the perfect gift from Uncle Waffle!


So I ordered the flatulent Equine from Amazon, and gleefully awaited his arrival.


My mother-in-law asked the Waffle what he got for his niece... He told her about Sparkle Farts.


Now... I wasn't there, but apparently this was quite the unacceptable gift to get our niece! I am really at a loss as to how a doll that you have to fuss with and feed and change is superior to a taco eating unicorn that has gas. Ya don't have to feed him, he takes care of that for himself.


Somehow I have become the proud owner of an Equus monoclonius, that has a taste for tacos and is jet propelled on Tuesdays.

And my niece? She got knitting looms with lots of yarn, personally selected by Uncle Waffle.




Thursday, December 20, 2018

Watch dog horf*

I'm sure folks know by now that I have a BLM Mustang horse. I always say of her she is vigilant, this makes her a great watch dog, trouble is she can't bark.


I work from home and I have to be at work pretty early in the morning, somewhere around 7:30am-8:30am I hear this sound that, to me, sounds like someone trying to fire up the generator. I didn't think to much of it, I thought it was my father-in-law attempting to fire up the gene because they were out of power.


My husband wakes up and hears this sound and asks what it is, I tell him what I think it is and he says it doesn't sound right to be a gene. He goes out to start his day and I don't think to much about it. Not sure how much later, he comes in and he says, "you know what that sound is?!" I of course said I didn't know. He says, "it's your horf*," snorting because the neighbor's horses and goats are out!


I go outside, and sure enough, she's snorting and carrying on because the horses and goats are by our pump house, 300ft roughly. As we look at the neighbor's horses, we notice one has a halter and lead rope on. So waffle (aka the husband) says we should catch that horse and starts walking over. I told him that he can't go straight at them he kinda has to meander around like he lost his car keys and he's looking for them. He doesn't listen to me and starts walking over, and the horses take one look and trot back home.


Our neighbors came back and put their horses here they belong.




*Waffle adopted the use of "horf" when he thinks the horse is doing something stupid after Tango, touted to be "the stupidest horse ever" on Twitter.

=

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Halloween 2018

Well Boos and Ghouls, Halloween has come and gone. It always amazes me how I spend the whole month, even year looking forward to it and it's over in a couple hours. I guess that is what Christmas feels like to everyone else.

So to start my day off I wanted to go wash the hearse, but I stopped to air up a tire and get a coffee at the local "Maverick" convenience store.

I came out of the convenience store and a couple young men yelled at me they liked my house, meaning my hearse. So I was a little confused, but said "thanks" anyway... I'm not sure if they thought I just looked homeless or they thought a hearse would make a good home? I decided that they were going with the hearse is a good mobile home and get away car for vampires...

There were some firsts for me, I had to scrub the crappy clay dirt up here from my hearse! It sucked, once I was done I thought I needed a nap! Right in the middle of it all a guy pulls up to wash his car and he asked me about my coach. I showed it all to him and I explained how they were made yackitty smakitty… and then I said something about it being called a "hearse" and he looks at me, straight faced and says, "what is that?" I just held my arms open wide and gestured to my hearse.

This was also my first "Trunk-or-Treat," something of a necessity since I have moved from the city to the rural county side. This enables kids that live outside of the city limits, on farms or ranches to all gather someplace and get candy. It's kind of like in valley were you just bus the kids into the most affluent neighborhoods to get candy.

I pulled up and a young man said for me to park next to a fire pick-up truck (so not the big fire truck but a pick-up truck) which I did. Then I set about putting spider web on my coach and just decorating for the evening. From behind me I hear some woman say, "I'm sorry but that is just creepy." I just said something over my shoulder like, "isn't that the point?" as I continued to decorate. Then I put my church truck out and pulled my casket part way out of the back and perched it up on the church truck.

The Trunk-or-Treat is extremely fast paced, seriously, there is no break, I threw candy in bags for a good two hours non-stop. In the neighborhood Trick-or-Treat, you got a break after one mob of kids would show up then you could go to the bathroom, do a shot or re-supply candy. The nice thing is I didn't have to spend $100 on candy this year. I bought the biggest bag I could find for $10 and that's all I had to get. The Trunk-or-Treat supplies the candy!

Now as to the best costume, for me it was a kid that dressed up as a faun from the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. The kid made their whole costume from armor to cloven hooves! There was a girl, I'm not sure what she was supposed to be but she made a wide toothy grinning mouth using hot glue and fake stiletto nails. She affixed her home made prosthetic to her face and then covered it with a hospital mask. When she got up to me, with a great flourish she pulled her hospital mask off one ear to reveal her grotesque maw. I thought her prosthetic was well done. There was also a cute little robot costume made out of cardboard and one family showed up in those inflatable t-rex costumes!

One kid showed up in a Santa costume, and I tried to spread the good word of Krampus. He just looked at me funny, I told him to look it up when he got home.

I thought it was interesting that people kept asking me if I was from the Silver Creek or Owens Livingston Funeral homes (I'm shocked there are two of them up here). I tried to make it clear that this was my own personal vehicle and not one of the funeral homes. I know that sometimes funeral directors don't like people that aren't in the bizz to drive coaches around, and especially not ones with caskets in them.

I suppose I should mention my costume... I really wasn't sure what I had to wear, but luckily crap that I took to HearseCon included my skeleton poncho, then I had the hat my friend Tina made me and gave to me at HearseCon and I bought a skeleton half mask off Amazon. Not my best costume, but I thought it was pretty cool considering most of my stuff is in storage a the moment. Sorry no pictures I was just to tired and it would have been a selfie. Harvey was my co-pilot and he finds phones difficult to use because he's just cold and boney.

All in all it was a good time and I look forward to doing it again next year.